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What is an Extramarital Affair? What is the Real Reason Behind Extramarital Affair

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Do you doubt that your spouse is cheating on you? Do you feel that your partner is having an extramarital affair? Some instances make someone doubt their partner cheating them. Many signs can indicate that your spouse is in an extramarital affair. Apart from this, there are many reasons for extramarital affairs. In this article, we will let you know about various reasons why your spouse or you may engage in an extramarital affair. But before that let us tell you about what is an extramarital affair.

What is an Extramarital Affair?

An Extramarital affair is a relationship in which a married person is in a romantic relationship with another person who is not their spouse. It is mostly a sexual relationship, however, it starts with friends and ends up in a sexual relationship. An Extramarital affair is not at all good and is considered as betraying your spouse or married person. It can be the reason why people leave in marriage.

Anyone, either male or female, can engage in extramarital affairs. Extramarital affairs can adversely affect your married life and even end up in divorce. You tend to get attracted romantically to the third person and distance yourself from your spouse. There are many reasons for extramarital affairs. Next, we will tell you about the real reasons for an extramarital affair.

Reasons or Causes Behind Extramarital Affairs

Reasons for extramarital affairs
Reasons for extramarital affairs

There are many reasons for extramarital affairs. Here, we will tell you about the causes of extramarital affairs which even make people leave relationships. There are many other reasons as well like boredom, dullness in relationships, the lost spark between couples, monotony in married life, and many more.

1. If Past Love Comes Back

One of the most common causes of extramarital affairs is past love walking back into life at that point when you don’t have that much spark in your married life or have some issues in your marriage. When you are facing some stress in marriage then if your spouse’s past love comes back in their life about whom you don’t know there are chances your spouse may seek emotional support from them and this can lead to a romantic relationship later. If their relationship was strong then there are chances that your spouse may feel their ex-love understands them better than you.

2. There is no Respect or Compatibility

Another reason for extramarital affair is that there is a lack of respect and compatibility between you and your spouse. Your spouse or you may feel that your partner doesn’t understand you or give you enough importance. You always get into arguments and slander each other.  This can lead to extramarital affairs. You or your partner may seek that respect and compatibility in someone else and get into a romantic relationship with them. In such cases, relationship counseling can help you to gain that respect and compatibility again. If you find your partner distant from you or yourself distant from your partner then you should work on your relationship.

3. To Take Revenge on Your Partner

Take Revenge on Your Partner
Take Revenge on Your Partner

Another common reasons for extramarital affairs is that you or your partner want to take revenge on the other one. This is a very common reason why married couples end up having extramarital affairs. There are instances when your partner wants to seek revenge on you because they may think that you don’t value them or don’t take them as someone important. So they end up telling you their position by having an extramarital affair or there are also cases when they want to hurt you and they choose the path of an extramarital affair.

4. To Gain Some Benefits

There are cases of extramarital affairs where the married partner gets into a relationship with someone other than their spouse to gain some benefits. These benefits may be either sexual benefit, financial benefit, status, emotional, or maybe something other. This is one of the major reasons why your partner may get into an extramarital affair. Mostly the benefits gained are related to status and finance. Your partner may get into an extramarital affair with a rich person to gain their name and status.

5. To Prove Your Masculinity or Femininity

Prove Your Masculinity or Femininity
Prove Your Masculinity or Femininity

Another instance that comes up as a reason for an extramarital affair is that either you or your partner want to prove their masculinity or femininity. It is often seen in older men and women that they want to prove their youth by getting into extramarital affairs with younger women or men respectively. By doing this they want to assert that they are still young and capable of dating. It is mostly seen in people after they cross a certain age and are considered a bit old for starting a relationship.

6. If You Have Had Forceful Marriage

Forced marriage is another cause of extramarital affairs. There are still cases where people are forced to marry each other irrespective of their choices. In such cases, people either become very abusive to their partner or end up having an extramarital affair to free themselves of the frustration and anger of their married life. Forced marriage often becomes a cage for the people and they find their key to freedom in affairs.

Signs of Extramarital Affair

There are many signs of an extramarital affair. Extramarital affairs are hard to detect initially but when they are detected it brings huge chaos to the life of married couples.

1. Being Over Possessive of Their Phone

If your partner is being over possessive of the phone and it’s very secretive then it indicates they are hiding something and can be in an extramarital affair. They tried to hide everything and don’t let you see it 

2. Showing no Interest in Sexual Intimacy

Interest in Sexual Intimacy
Interest in Sexual Intimacy

If your partner is showing no interest in sexual intimacy and try to stay away from you and avoid any physical contact then it indicates that but can be in an extramarital affair. They can be guilty of cheating their partner, therefore, refuse to get intimate. 

3. Having Secretive Behavior

Another sign that your spouse can have an extramarital affair is that they start having secretive behavior. They don’t want you to know about their whereabouts like where they were, who they are meeting or talking to. Their behavior becomes mysterious. 

4. Being Unreasonably Unreachable

Unreasonably Unreachable
Being Unreasonably Unreachable

Being unreachable at times is understood because of some work or other circumstances but if your partner is frequently unreachable and for longer durations, it can be a sign that they are in an extramarital affair. They can cut off their reach when they are with someone else.

5. A Drastic Change in Attitude

If you see a drastic change in the attitude of your partner like they are becoming aggressive and arguing a lot especially when you ask them where they were to ask for their phone then it can be a sign of an extramarital affair. Change in attitude and behavior can indicate it.


Extramarital affairs break the foundation of marriage along with trust. It usually happens when the love in a relationship is lost. If you find that your partner is having an extramarital affair, your most likely reaction would be a confrontation but in such cases, you should first find out the reason why it started. The most effective method of handling it is by talking to your partner and listening to him. Find out if there is anything in your married life that led your partner to this. You should consult a counselor to rebuild your relationship. However, if your partner cheats on you, again and again, parting away is the best choice.


1. How to know if my partner is cheating on me? 

There are many signs of an extramarital affair like your partner having long work hours, they are secretive about their life, and being hesitant to post your pics on social media. For other signs read the article above.

2. What to do if my partner is in an Extramarital Affair?

First, be sure if your partner is having an extramarital affair or not. If you are sure then first think about why they got into an extramarital affair. Try to look if there are any loopholes in your marriage. You can look for marriage counseling to get someone else’s help.

3. What are the after-effects of an Extramarital Affair? 

Extramarital affairs can lead to very worst scenarios like either the extramarital affair ends or your marriage, trust is completely shattered and the person and have emotional issues.

4. How does an Extramarital Affair start? 

An extramarital affair usually starts with friendship, maybe at the office or workplace work or when you find someone attractive. It happens usually when your marriage is unhappy or the person wishes to gain some benefits.

5. Can one overcome an extramarital affair? 

Yes, one can overcome it with patience and perseverance. You need to give yourself time to heal and forget about it. You can even go for couple counseling.

People Also Read:

Reasons For Extramarital Affair

Tips to Reduce Marriage Stress

How to live Happy Married Life

Overcome Stress in Marriage

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