Psychologist India / Marriage Counseling / Importance of premarital counseling

What is the Importance of Premarital Counseling?

If you want your marriage to work and be everything you guys wanted it to be, this is where the importance of premarital counseling is reflected.
what-is-the-importance-of-premarital-counseling

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Marriage can be the most important and crucial decision you’re going to make in your life, you’re deciding to commit yourself to a person who might have different opinions, values and beliefs. Marriage is not just about living with each other, but you have to be a team who works together and faces every problem together. There are a lot of aspects of marriage you don’t know about till you experience them yourselves. You need to have the conversation with your partner that you’re on the same page, if you want your marriage to work and be everything you guys wanted it to be, this is where the importance of  premarital counseling is reflected. The purpose of premarital counseling is to initiate and mediate a healthy conversation between you and your partner about your marriage, it helps you explore topics like your expectation from this marriage, your opinion on having children etc. You will definitely understand why premarital counseling is important just after attending one session. It will help you gain insights into each other in a way you never thought possible. Trust me you don’t want any surprises after you have a few years into the marriage. Marriage is a big commitment that should not be taken lightly, you need to do your due diligence and have all the tough conversations needed before you decide to say yes, this is actually the main purpose of premarital counseling, it helps you avoid future conflict and figure out how compatible you are with each other.

Premarital counseling can be defined as a therapy that mentally prepares a couple for marriage. This will be helpful in finding out if you and your partner can sustain the marriage and have a healthy relationship throughout your lifespan. It enriches the relationship and helps to know each other better. Love alone cannot sustain your marriage, you need to have compassion for your partner, you need to adjust to their quirks and you need to respect their beliefs and values, and wouldn’t it be quite helpful if you know what their values and beliefs are before marriage, that is why premarital counseling is important. What happens in premarital counseling is that you talk to a professional which can be a huge help, they know what topics you need to have conversations about before taking that huge step, they have the knowledge to facilitate the conversations in a healthy way. The main purpose of premarital counseling is to help you understand the expectation of your partner and make them understand yours, so you can have a healthy and loving marriage. Now that we know all about premarital counseling and what is the purpose of premarital counseling, let’s talk about the importance of premarital counseling in marriage. 

Importance of Premarital Counseling in Marriage : 

1. It Helps You Build Communication Skills 

When you and your partner decide to participate in premarital counseling and start talking to an experienced therapist you’re taking the first step towards building better communication skills. It’s a well known fact that no relationship can work without good communication and this will help you achieve that in a healthy way. A lot of issues in your marriage can arise because of miscommunication and premarital counseling is a great way to stop that from happening. You will learn to understand your partner and communicate your feelings to them in a better way too. 

2. It Helps You Understand Each Other’s Major Triggers

Understand-Each-Other

Premarital counseling helps you identify each other’s triggers and push points,and it also helps you with ways to deal with those triggers in a way that your partner feels supported and vice versa. If you don’t know what your partner feels sensitive about there is just no way you can help them overcome it and that can lead to a tumultuous marriage and counseling helps you avoid that from happening. 

3. It Helps You Establish a Shared Vision

If you want your marriage to work you and your partner need to have a shared vision or an idea of what you want your future to look like, and then work towards that shared vision. It would never work if you and your partner are working towards different visions for their life, you need to be on the same page and that explains the importance of premarital counseling.

4. It Helps You Plan The Future With Your Partner

Plan-The-Future

A counselor is not just going to deal with the current issues you have as a couple but also deal with any potential issues you might face in the future. They help you set realistic goals concerning your family plans and financial situation. They help you get on the same page and make sure that you and your partner both have the same expectations when it comes to the future of your marriage. 

5. It Helps You Learn New Things About Yourselves 

Talking to a professional is going to help you in tremendous ways. It will help you learn new things about yourself and grow as an individual along with your partners. You might identify things about yourself that you never thought possible and you might find that you want completely different things from what you thought you wanted, this is why you need premarital counseling. 

6. It Helps You Set Realistic Expectations

Realistic-Expectations

Talking about your expectation from your marriage is the healthy way of dealing with things, it lets you know what you can reach an agreement on and what is out of question and it is absolutely beneficial to know before marriage so you can work on setting realistic expectations in a way that is supportive and compassionate. 

7. It Helps You Absorb Wisdom

When you’re talking to a counselor who’s sharing their expertise from their experience it helps you relate to them and learn from their experiences. A person who’s been married for a long time can help share insights into what it actually takes to make a marriage work that you can never learn from a book. The wisdom you gain from their experience can help you avoid any mistakes they made and work for the future you want as a couple. 

8. It Helps You Learn De-escalation Techniques

A marriage is not rainbows and unicorns all the time, you are going to have issues and fights but what matters in making that marriage work is how you deal wit those issues and a premarital counselor can help you learn de-escalation techniques which will help you resolve your issues without hurting or upsetting your partner and vice versa. Anger is never the answer, that is why you need these techniques and incorporate them in your life with the help of a counselor. 

9. It Helps You Address Your Issues

Address-Your-Issues

It helps you learn to address your issues in a way that’s not upsetting or hurtful to your partner and at the same time lets you express in a healthy way too. A counselor can facilitate a confrontation for already present issues in a healthy way that leads to a solution and not another fight. 

10. It Helps You Identify Potential Conflict 

It is not possible for two people to believe or have completely similar ideas regarding life in general. It is important to identify any potential conflicts before they even occur. This can be done through counseling to ensure stable relationships. This is one of the many reasons you need premarital counseling before your marriage.

Conclusion:

Is premarital counseling important? The answer to that question is always going to be yes. It is a practice every couple who is thinking about taking the big step towards should marriage think about, it might help you identify issues you didn’t even know about, or it might help you identify ways to solve the issues that you already had. If you want a happy married life you need to take this step before committing yourself wholly. After reading all these benefits explaining the importance of premarital counseling in marriage I don’t think you would have any doubts about giving premarital counseling a try. If you want to take that initiative towards your healthy marriage you can look for professional help. There are a lot of great therapists who provide premarital counseling and have experience in dealing with these issues. I hope you find this article helpful.

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Dr. Neha Mehta

Dr. Neha Mehta is an RCI registered Psychologist, certified Relationship Counselor, and a well-known Child Psychologist practicing in Haryana. Dr. Neha has 10 years of enriching experience in the field of counseling. She’s an accredited Psychologist by NIMHANS and International Affiliate with American Psychological Association.

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