Have you ever met someone who has the habit of blaming others for whatever happens in their life and gaining sympathy? These days it is quite a common word that is used for people who show themselves as helpless and victims of situations, and that is ‘playing the victim card’. But what is this victim card personality or mentality? How do you identify people with a victim mentality? How to deal with victim personality? These are a few of the questions that often come to mind when we try to look through a sympathetic person. One of the major concerns is how to overcome the victim mentality as it makes the person negative. These are questions we will be looking at in the article.
What is Victim Personality?
When you try to discover different personality types, one of them is victim personality. Understanding what is personality is essential to understanding a victim personality. Victim mentality is the personality that is usually acquired by people. They are the ones who feel they are victims of negative circumstances. They make others feel as if they are suffering because of the mistakes of others. Often these people blame others and never take any responsibility for their mistakes. These people often have this feeling that others have achieved things more easily than themselves. Therefore it is essential to know how to deal with a victim personality. There are many reasons for what causes victim mentality like trauma, personal benefits, inferiority complex, and many more. Let’s have a look at the signs.
Signs of a victim mentality person?
There are ways by which you can easily identify people with a victim mentality. Here are some of the signs of a victim mentality person that will help you recognize them.
1. They make you feel helpless
One of the signs of people with victim personality is that they make you feel helpless. You will often get the vibe that these people pretend to be tortured, and suffering. They pretend that their life is full of problems and other people get things without much hard work while they have to go through rough paths to attain things. They will always try to gain sympathy and one never knows their intention can be to gain benefit from others.
3. They are always negative
One of the signs of a victim mentality person is that they are always negative. These people never try to look at the positivity of the circumstances rather their focus is always on the negative side. Even if things are going great they would find negativity and in that, they would show things as if things are happening because of them or people are doing wrong to you. In their present life also they don’t see small happiness or any ray of positivity.
4. They have a habit of self-abuse
Often people with a mentality have the habit of self abusing. You will find them abusing as if things are happening because of them. Where they are blaming others for the wrongs in their life they would also start blaming themselves. For example, ‘It is my fault that I believed you’, ‘I am always the one who is wrong’, etc. Their sentences will make you feel that you are the one who has done wrong to them.
5. Blame things on others
Among other signs, one of the signs of a victim mentality person is blaming others. On the one hand, they will self-abuse themselves. The sentences will make you feel that it is you who has done wrong to them. They will always state the other person for everything that has gone wrong with them. This is often what happens in a relationship. This makes the couple go for couple counseling to resolve their issues.
6. They always live in the past
Another sign of people with victim personality is that they always live in the past. They often spend hours overthinking about what happened in the past, how they were wronged, and feeling helpless and tortured. This overthinking always surrounds them with the negative and does not allow them to see reality. This is one of the disadvantages of overthinking. Their living in the past becomes their reality. They are not able to see the happiness of the present.
How to deal with Victim Personality Person?
Now, that you can identify people with victim personality, you must know how to deal with victim personality people. Such people can surround you and hence it is important to know the tips and tricks.
1. Make them understand that it is negative and acknowledge it
The first step in how to manage a person with a victim personality is to help them understand that victim mentality is negative and acceptance by them that it is their personality is necessary. Many times in a relationship girls often have a victim mentality where they blame everything on their partners. When you assess what are the qualities of a good girlfriend one of them is understanding. Among the strategies to deal with victim personality, is understanding which plays a major role. Make them understand that it is harmful to them and that they are harming themselves with this personality.
2. Help them realize the reality and be realistic
Among many tips to deal with a victim mentality, one of the effective tips is to help them open their blindfolds of negative personality and look at reality. This is one of the ways to cope up with the victim mentality. You should help them understand that reality is much more beautiful than they think and it is not as complex as they have made it. Things are not as negative as it seems to them and there is always a positive side to it. Helping them have a positive outlook and setting realistic goals helps in drift away from the victim mentality and see things with a clear and happy look.
3. Communicate clearly and set clear boundaries
Among other ways of how to manage a person with a victim personality, one of the ways is to communicate and set clear boundaries. It can be very dramatizing and exhausting to live with people with a victim mentality. Therefore it is important that you communicate with your partner and set boundaries so that they are not able to blame you for every other situation that happens in life. Learning how to say no in relationship is essential to maintaining your mental peace and living with your partner. This is one of the strategies to deal with victim personality. Communicating your expectations and your boundary lines will help you set limits to the victim mentality of your partner.
4. Don’t get yourself mentally disturbed
One of the tips to deal with a victim mentality is that you must never let your mental peace be affected by this. Often what happens is that people with victim personality end up blaming you for everything in a way that you feel that you have done something wrong to them. It even makes you feel that you are the reason they are not happy in their life. This often makes the relationship very toxic. So, you should understand that you must not let yourself be affected by this and get mentally disturbed. You should know how to end a toxic relationship if it demands much of your mental peace. This is one of the strategies to deal with victim personality.
5. Visit a therapist
Another way how to manage a person with a victim personality is to seek professional help. Visiting a therapist helps in understanding the reason for the development of victim mentality and helps in curing it from the roots. It helps in staying away from the negativity and living in the present, in reality. It helps you avoid anything that is delusion and allows you to look at the world through the lens of positivity. This is one of the ways to cope up with the victim mentality. Taking professional help will help you to get treatment from someone experienced and understand other aspects of it. A professional will look at things objectively and help you find guaranteed solutions for the betterment.
How to Overcome the Victim Personality?
Now, to help you overcome the victim mentality not solely on the shoulders of people close to you but also you must put effort into it. Here are some of the ways to cope up with the victim mentality.
1. Practice self-care
One of the tips to deal with a victim mentality and overcome it is to practice self-care. You can also go for self-improvement counseling to improve your personality. You must not blame yourself. The key to overcoming the victim mentality is to love yourself. Try to find happiness and positivity in the little things around you and treat yourself better.
2. Don’t be negative and believe in yourself
Among other ways to cope up with the victim mentality is to stop being negative and have confidence in yourself. Victim personality people often stay in last and they look at things negatively. Knowing how to boost your mind will help you to stay away from negativity. Have confidence in how you look, and how you are doing. Confidence helps in staying away from negativity.
3. Acknowledge it’s a feeling and not the truth
Among the other strategies to deal with victim personality, one is to acknowledge that it is a feeling and not the truth. Realization of the fact is necessary that the victim personality makes you feel like you have been wronged and things are negative. However, you should accept that this feeling is not true and there is another side of the coun as well.
Conclusion
Now that it has been very clear about how to deal with a victim personality, you must understand that people with personality suffer psychologically. Often these people can have a criminal mindset and they use the victim mentality to make the other guilty to gain their benefits. Under this also comes the aspects of playing with the emotions of others and formulating them based on your own. Often, this personality then becomes a habit and the person thinks everyone is wrong to them. Hence, you must know how to overcome the victim mentality to save yourself and others from being a part of the suffering of the victim mentality.
FAQ’S
1. How does victim mentality harm others?
Victim mentality harms others by making them feel that they are the ones who have done wrong to the person. They will behave helplessly and you will feel as if you are wrong and you are the reason they are not happy in their life. Often this happens in relationships when one partner blames the other for everything and does not acknowledge their mistakes making the other one feel guilty. Hence, knowing how to overcome the victim mentality is essential to avoid it.
2. What are the symptoms of a victim mentality person?
Some of the signs of a person with a victim mentality are that they show that their life is full of problems and other people get things without much hard work while they have to go through a lot. They have the habit of self-abuse and later on either directly blame the other person or indirectly make the other person the torturer with their words. They tend to find negativity in things and live in the past. These are some of the signs of people with a victim mentality.
3. What causes a victim mentality?
There can be many reasons for what causes victim mentality. People suffering from a victim mentality often have a very unhappy place. They might have gone through a traumatic event, distress, pain, and many more. They would have been wronged and suffered a lot because of others. One of the reasons can also be that they might have faced discrimination and received less love and attention which can cause this personality disorder. They did not find any healthy way to deal with it and hence developed this personality.
4. Can victim mentality cause any harmful disorder?
People with victim personality disorder are prone to develop certain personality disorders and one of them is NPD, that is, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People with this personality disorder often play victim cards to manipulate others and achieve their benefits. They often have possession of gaining the entitlement of being a victim in every situation. This can be difficult for people around them and hence knowing the tips to deal with a victim mentality will help them.
5. What is the mindset of a person with a victim personality?
A person with a victim mentality feels that on a plane they are on one side and others are on their opposite side. They feel the whole is against them, be it even their family, friends, or love, and therefore they are unable to assess what is right and wrong. They have this mindset that others get things very easily while they have to do a lot of hard work to achieve things in life. They have the mentality of being a victim in every situation and not acknowledging their mistakes.
